Getting ready for winter

The sad realisation that from now on, my definition of heat wave will need to change.

English heat wave

Sigh.

The new man in my life

Here it is: the story you've all been waiting for. A new relationship (finally!)...

Late to work

2 reasons I was late to work this week:

First day, they closed the road to a truck spillage. A truck spilled its load of... syrup. So some poor sod had to sweep up a truck load of syrup.

 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-14926770

Second day: a stubborn cow (no, not an enemy of mine, a real bovine) standing on a single lane highway in Canterbury forced the traffic to be diverted another way as it couldn’t be coaxed off the road.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-13468789

Ok, so neither of those things caused me to be late, but I honestly did hear about them on the radio.

Happy Stalling

I own a car! Well, I hired one. My job requires that I visit people in their homes, so I was introduced to my little Fiat 500 on Tuesday. Off-white, 2 doors (so that if I have an accident, I’m properly squished and more likely to die than be permanently disabled), and manual. A few issues...

Protected Mealtimes

One of the highest priorities of the NHS is to ensure patient nutrition is optimised. Given that in most hospitals, nursing staff (not kitchen staff) are responsible for the serving, delivery, and feeding of patients, some genius implemented a 'Protected Mealtimes" policy. This means, that under NO circumstances whatsoever, are patients to be disturbed at their dinner (aka lunch). Nurses feeding patients are also not allowed to be disturbed under any circumstances whatsoever (cardiac arrest? Sorry, I'm feeding Ethel).

Morning Tea

The English don’t have morning tea. At work, I asked my boss if we had a break for morning tea, and she looked at me strangely. “I’m not quite sure what you mean,” was the response.

Cream Tea at Rottingdean, near Brighton

Today was a statue day

This was the source of the crash I heard from the bathroom earlier this evening.
My bathroom shelf is above the toilet. My toiletries bag was open.
Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue...

3 funny conversations

3 actual conversations all had in the same 24 hour period.

Conversation 1:

LW: Nurse, could you please help me lift a patient up the bed?

Nurse: Oh hang on a minute, I just have to measure Mr X's rig.

Patriotic

A bit of Australia in my bathroom (and my hair).
It would be un-Australian to disagree with the Aussie philosophy.

Sigh...

Winter in Sydney, Summer in Kent.

BSOD

Not even airport computers escape the BSOD.

Sensor lights

I am really impressed by Europe's energy saving efforts. Most restaurants, hotels and public bathrooms have sensor lights.

One problem...

Pets on holidays

In England, people take their pets everywhere. I first noticed it on public transport, and as I type right now I'm sharing my train foot space with a particularly odiforous canine. Gross.

Languages

Being monolingual is like having a disability. I find myself apologising for not being able to express myself in any other language, as shop keepers and strangers look impatiently at me while I struggle with Charade-like gestures (first word, sounds like...).

Cathedral Bells

There’s something reassuring about a city with an hourly tolling cathedral bell.

Sagrada Familia Cathedral; Barcelona, Spain

Never mind your electronic devices, alarms and reminders; a tolling bell is the city’s authority as it chimes unmistakably through the streets. It’s the wordless consensus that everyone in the city is on the same page, and has been for centuries.