I have spent 5 days trying to figure out the girl I work with. We are similar ages. We both come from Australia. We are both locuming in an unfamiliar place, in a foreign country, having to work side by side sharing the workload.
My workmate has a pleasant face. She has a degree that spent a lot of time in the theory and practice of communication. After all, a large part of our job is actually teaching people how to communicate. Despite these positive signs, we have not hit it off. Nothing personal or bitter. The girl just doesn't talk. AT ALL. She says "hi" when I walk in the room, and I've heard her talk when she answers the phone, but apart from these things, she speaks not.
I did a little experiment on Friday, which left me so disheartened that I vowed never to try it again, for my own sanity. I decided that during morning tea, and all through the rest of the day, I wouldn't initiate a single conversation. I'd wait for her to bring up a topic. We went 3 hours between patients, and an entire hour in the afternoon, desks facing each other, not uttering a word. I finally asked her about 7 questions in quick succession at 4:30pm, as a way of ensuring that I could still in fact hear properly and was capable of having a conversation. I went home that weekend, wondering what on earth had happened.
The most interesting explanation I can come up with is that she has a strict daily quota of words she can possibly utter - somewhere in the vicinity of 20 or so in any 24 hour period. I imagine her meticulously writing down each word, and counting them all up at the end of the day, sighing in relief that she has a few words to spare for the following day.
The most likely explanation is simply that she's shy. At our age, we can no longer very well hide between our mothers' legs, turning our faces away from people who try to talk to us. So perhaps as an adult, socially acceptable shyness is to avoid conversations.
It got me thinking about how much I value friendship, and general office banter, in the workplace. My Aussie workfriends well know how much I love to communicate, whether that be initiating an office sing-a-long to the latest pop hit (often with the help of YouTube subtitled backup music and some hip hop dancing in the corridor), or standing at the door of someone else's office asking them what they think about online dating or carbon neutral travel. Or sitting in front of the computer bagging out the SMH Wedding of the Week. Anything that gets a good chin wag.
So spending entire days in silence, or worse, getting single word responses to my questions on life, is damn near doing my head in.
And it makes me miss my friends and previous workplaces all the more...
Dearest Linds,
ReplyDeleteAs you well know, shy people IRRITATE me no end also. I am always thinking: JUST SPEAK ALREADY! What's wrong with you?? (While hoping they touch your arm or shoulder....oh the South Africanisms we all miss and love, SHAME!)
Hang in there champ, speechies are known for being a little strange at times, she will hopefully turn up to work with a stream of toilet paper hanging out of her undies or a poppyseed stuck in her teeth or better yet, an undiagnosable sputum like stain on her right breast. That's the opportunity to break her down and make her communicate...'excuse me strange shy person, you seem to have a ______________'. Hilarity may work. Or she may resign. Either either, you have won...
Miss you Linds, (cyber touching of arm).
Jess xxxx
"Aaaah my dear friend...the more Speechies I meet, the more and more concerned I become at the LACK of communication skills in our profession. Why is it that Speech Pathology (or should I say "Speech and Language Therapy"?!) is full of pragmatically-challenged, communication impaired individuals??
ReplyDeleteWhen it is time for you to return home (hurry up!), I promise to do everything I can to get you a job with me at TSH - where moments of office silence are rare, and games such as "synchronised office chair spinning" are part of the orientation process for all new staff and students!"