How to go to the theatre alone

This one's a bit trickier than dining alone. But it can be done!

• Arrive at the last minute. No use swanning around the entrance like a lost soul (unless you want to people-watch, which is much better done at a restaurant). Even better, dine at a restaurant close to the theatre so you can see when the crowd outside starts to move in.
• Join a random group of people who won't notice that you're standing a bit too close to them. Follow them as if you were one of their gang through the crowds. Just don't join their conversation.
• If you can't follow a random crowd, stand against a wall and people-watch. Just make it look like you belong to the person standing against the wall next to you.
• Find your seat, and then take a long time sorting out the turning off of your phone, getting out your snacks and drinks, and generally not noticing that you're on your own.
• At intermission, get up straight away and join the bar line. Or the toilet queue. Everyone's alone in the toilet queue.
• At the end of the performance, make a quick exit. No-one will notice you're on your own in the exiting crowd. Everyone fends for themselves getting out of a theatre anyway.