Those speechie phrases, interpreted

Found this list while clearing up today. Was shocked and horrified, and quickly put it out of sight, and then realised, the shock and horror came from actually having heard these phrases uttered, by other health professionals, and perhaps even by myself, on the rehab ward.
On bad days in inpatient brain injury rehab, dark humour might be the only laugh you get.



I did add a few of my own to this list. It's our unspoken understanding of what we mean.

Phrase: "What would you say you find the most difficult?"
Meaning: "...coz I don't have the faintest idea what's wrong with you."

Phrase: "I'd really like to hear Mr Smith answer this, so that I can get a better idea of how he communicates for himself."
Meaning: "I'd really like Mrs Smith to keep her mouth shut for just a second."

Phrase: "I think what Mr Smith really needs is rest."
Meaning: "I don't think I can fit Mr Smith into my schedule today."

Phrase: "I think there's some potential there."
Meaning: "You haven't a hope."

Phrase: "These are early days."
Meaning: "like I said, you haven't a hope."

Phrase: "I think we should take each day as it comes."
Meaning: "Once again, you haven't a hope."

Phrase: "Maybe we should try a change of tack."
Meaning: "I've buggered that one up big time. Start over."

Phrase: "That's something you should ask your doctor."
Meaning: "if only buck-passing were an Olympic sport."

Phrase: "the physio and I are going to see you together next week."
Meaning: "I've heard you like to cop a feel. No getting away with it, buster!"

Phrase: "That's a very reasonable question."
Meaning: "... and how I wish I could think of a remotely reasonable answer."

Phrase: "This powder I'm adding to your tea won't change the taste."
Meaning: "Assuming you like Earl Grey flavoured wallpaper paste."

Phrase: "We're still at the stage of establishing a reliable Yes and No response with your wife."
Meaning: "Those board games you've been playing with her - Scrabble, Taboo, Trivial Pursuit? You can go ahead and donate them to the op shop."

Phrase: "Unfortunately we can't cure this overnight."
Meaning: "... or ever."

Phrase: "he does occasionally open his eyes and respond to questioning."
Meaning: "by questioning, we generally mean sternal rub. Or defibrillation."

Phrase: "I think you've done really well."
Meaning: "I give up."