Unlicenced

So I've not been here six months before receiving a court summons. Yep. What heinous crime have I committed, you ask?

I've been suspected of owning a TV.

Here in the UK, you're not allowed to own a TV unless it has a licence. This annual fee basically pays for the BBC to produce high quality television shows such as Miranda (comedy starring impossibly tall and awkward 30 something nerd), and for David Attenborough to fascinate us with his photographic mastery and posh accent.
The tv police can come round and check to see if you own a TV. If you do, and it doesn't have a licence, you can be fined. You even have to pay for a licence if you stream tv shows live on the Internet from your laptop. Usually people write to the tv police and tell them if they don't have a TV. In my case I suspect the previous tenant ignored letters requesting a visit to inspect, the result being my court summons.
Pardon me if I'm drawing a long bow here, but surely there's a correlation between having to pay for TV and the astronomical rate of teenage pregnancy in this country? Too many bored British youth with no money, seeking free entertainment in the comfort of their own living room, is my suspicion.
Perhaps a licence to breed might be a better use of public funds.